Getting on the fast track to success starts with asking three simple questions:
1. Where am I now?
Dr. Phil often says "you can't change what you do not acknowledge." If you want to win in life, you have to get real about where your life is now.
Are you happy? Are you healthy? Are you living on purpose? Are your relationships - vertical and horizontal - absolutely amazing? If not, that is okay. You are not too far gone and it is not to late to turn things around. You do, however, have to be honest about what needs fixing if you are going to have a real chance at success.
If things are good right now ask yourself "what else can I do to take my impact on the world to the next level?" then go do it!
If you have not achieved the body and life of your dreams yet, move on to question 2.
2. Where do I want to go?
Scripture teaches that where there is no vision, the people perish. What we often miss is that this principle is true in every area of life. If you are not clear on where you want to go, chances are you will end up somewhere else.
In this day and age it is easy to live on autopilot. Get up, take a shower, get dressed, go to work, make great things happen, drive home, eat dinner, watch TV, and call it a night. The next day you just rinse and repeat. Before you know it, weeks, months, and years have passed and you are still stuck in the same place (or things have gotten worse).
If you are stuck in the rinse and resist cycle that is not where you have to stay. You can have, do, and become more. You just need to make a few tweaks. That brings me to question 3.
3. How did I get here?
This is the question that separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Jim Rohn says it well...
"The greatest form of maturity is at harvest time. This is when we must learn how to reap without complaint if the amounts are small and how to reap without apology if the amounts are big."
If you do not like where you are at right now with your weight, health, fitness level, spiritual life, career, finances, or relationships, you have to own it. No blaming. No excuses. No justifications. Just own it. Because when you do, you empower yourself to change whatever needs fixing with His help. Until you do, you will remain powerless and continue getting the opposite of what you really want. Change starts with you.
Now that you have taken ownership, it is time to explore these questions:
Remember "failure" is just feedback and success leaves clues. The fastest, easiest way to create success in your life is to view failure as life's way of pointing you in the right direction and then follow the clues left by others who have achieved what you want.
"Ugh! I'm so stupid. I can't believe I just did that! What in the world was I thinking?"
Sound vaguely familiar? Maybe your most recent dialogue with yourself was a little different. Maybe you called yourself a "screw up" or called the mistake a "bonehead" decision. But chances are, at some point in the last week or maybe even the last 24-48 hours you have had this type of exchange with yourself. It is completely normal....and not at all healthy.
We all engage in negative self-talk. The question is not if, but how often and how long. For me, it happened when I recently got make up all over my dress. It was not a good look and as it was I was running a little behind schedule. In my mind the last thing I needed was one more problem to solve. My self-talk was simple and subtle: "You should have known better!" "Why did you do that?” I really gave myself a good lashing. But was it really that serious? Yes, I had to quickly find something else to wear and yes I was a little late but was it really the end of the world? No!
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we will accidentally go over our calorie allowance all in one fail swoop, lock our keys in the car and have wait an hour and a half for AAA, or snap at others without thinking because we’ve had a horrible day. As much as we wish it were not so, missteps like these will happen again and again for the rest of our lives.
We cannot avoid mistakes, but we CAN avoid the harsh, borderline abusive way in which we sometimes speak to ourselves.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I knew I would fail.”
“I can’t believe I messed it up again.”
“Why can’t I be more like (fill in the blank)?”
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
If someone said these things to you, imagine the impact it would have on you.
“You’re not good enough.”
“I knew you would fail.”
“I can’t believe you messed it up again.”
“Why can’t you be more like so and so?”
“You don’t deserve to be happy.”
Hearing those things from someone you care about would have a devastating impact on how you see yourself and the world, right? Then why in the world would you say such things to yourself?
Negative self-talk can easily turn into a damaging self-fulfilling prophecy where you live down–instead of up–to expectations. It’s a bad habit that stifles your growth…plus it keeps you from losing weight.
Have you noticed that when you do not feel good about yourself you do not have the drive or energy to pursue your hopes and dreams? Yeah me too.
So what to do?
Challenge the negative self-talk . Just because a thought enters your mind doesn't mean that you have to accept it!
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!