I am a firm believer in stretch goals that require you to step beyond your comfort zone, yet I must caution that there is a fine line between stretch goals & unrealistic ones. Stretch goals set us up to #win, unrealistic goals set us up to fail. Who wants to fail? NO ONE. But we unknowingly set ourselves up to fail all the time!
Should we challenge ourselves? Yes.
Should we push ourselves to do a little more than we think we are capable of doing? Double yes!
I tell my clients all the time, “you are stronger than you think.” And they are. But strong does not mean that there are no limits. Before you set a goal, do a reality check.
Say you want to lose 25 pounds by a certain date and a part of your plan is to exercise an hour a day 5 days a week. Is this a stretch goal or an unrealistic one? Let's ask some questions to find out…
1) Does your current schedule allow for 1 hr. of exercise a day?
2) If not, are you prepared to give up something in another area of your life to dedicate that 1 hr.?
3) If you do reallocate that 1 hr. that you are currently using for something else – are you okay with the consequences of that decision?
If making these types of adjustments does not seem possible, will require a herculean effort, or will create gaps in other areas that you are not prepared to deal with, you are setting yourself up to fail.
Why set a goal where your chances of succeeding are slim?
Why feel guilt and shame every week when you miss the mark?
Why not set your goal at 20-30 minutes and feel the exhilaration of succeeding every single day?
Goals should be comfortably uncomfortable. Yes, at times that will be a little stressful but be careful not to take it too far.
When you want to set yourself up for success - think stretch.
Until next time,
Let me ask you, do you...
...like the direction your life is going in?
...enjoy the relationships you are in and the people you are attracting?
...wake up to a job or business that fuels your passion?
...love the way you look and how your clothes fit?
...enjoy the peace of mind that comes from spiritual wealth?
If your answer is NO to any of these questions and instead you are feeling stuck, drained, unattractive, or disconnected, it is not because you are incapable of achieving more. It is because you need to make a different decision.
Staying in a job you hate is a decision.
Staying in a relationship that is not working and not actively trying to improve it is a decision.
Staying in a body you are not proud of is a decision.
Staying spiritually disconnected is a decision.
If you do not like where you are, make a different decision.
Start a new career search or begin writing the business plan.
Start speaking up for yourself and setting emotional boundaries (remember, you teach people how to treat you).
Start eating better, practicing portion control, and making exercise a priority.
Start investing time in daily prayer and devotion.
Is it going to be easy? No, but it is doable. Many with less time and fewer resources than you have done it. You can do it too. You just have to decide to.
You have to make a conscious choice to swap your P's. You have to choose to stop being passive and start being proactive.
The future favors the bold.
If you know what you need to do and just have not done it, be like Nike and JUST DO IT. And if you are not sure how or where to start, let’s talk.
But whatever you do, please do not let another day pass without you making that courageous decision. Indecision may seem easier, but it is costing you your freedom. As Jim Rohn says, "indecision is the thief of opportunity."
P.S. Choosing not to reach out for help is also a decision - a decision that robs you of your future. Don't make that mistake again.
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!