I am a firm believer in stretch goals that require you to step beyond your comfort zone, yet I must caution that there is a fine line between stretch goals & unrealistic ones. Stretch goals set us up to #win, unrealistic goals set us up to fail. Who wants to fail? NO ONE. But we unknowingly set ourselves up to fail all the time!
Should we challenge ourselves? Yes.
Should we push ourselves to do a little more than we think we are capable of doing? Double yes!
I tell my clients all the time, “you are stronger than you think.” And they are. But strong does not mean that there are no limits. Before you set a goal, do a reality check.
Say you want to lose 25 pounds by a certain date and a part of your plan is to exercise an hour a day 5 days a week. Is this a stretch goal or an unrealistic one? Let's ask some questions to find out…
1) Does your current schedule allow for 1 hr. of exercise a day?
2) If not, are you prepared to give up something in another area of your life to dedicate that 1 hr.?
3) If you do reallocate that 1 hr. that you are currently using for something else – are you okay with the consequences of that decision?
If making these types of adjustments does not seem possible, will require a herculean effort, or will create gaps in other areas that you are not prepared to deal with, you are setting yourself up to fail.
Why set a goal where your chances of succeeding are slim?
Why feel guilt and shame every week when you miss the mark?
Why not set your goal at 20-30 minutes and feel the exhilaration of succeeding every single day?
Goals should be comfortably uncomfortable. Yes, at times that will be a little stressful but be careful not to take it too far.
When you want to set yourself up for success - think stretch.
Until next time,
Let me ask you, do you...
...like the direction your life is going in?
...enjoy the relationships you are in and the people you are attracting?
...wake up to a job or business that fuels your passion?
...love the way you look and how your clothes fit?
...enjoy the peace of mind that comes from spiritual wealth?
If your answer is NO to any of these questions and instead you are feeling stuck, drained, unattractive, or disconnected, it is not because you are incapable of achieving more. It is because you need to make a different decision.
Staying in a job you hate is a decision.
Staying in a relationship that is not working and not actively trying to improve it is a decision.
Staying in a body you are not proud of is a decision.
Staying spiritually disconnected is a decision.
If you do not like where you are, make a different decision.
Start a new career search or begin writing the business plan.
Start speaking up for yourself and setting emotional boundaries (remember, you teach people how to treat you).
Start eating better, practicing portion control, and making exercise a priority.
Start investing time in daily prayer and devotion.
Is it going to be easy? No, but it is doable. Many with less time and fewer resources than you have done it. You can do it too. You just have to decide to.
You have to make a conscious choice to swap your P's. You have to choose to stop being passive and start being proactive.
The future favors the bold.
If you know what you need to do and just have not done it, be like Nike and JUST DO IT. And if you are not sure how or where to start, let’s talk.
But whatever you do, please do not let another day pass without you making that courageous decision. Indecision may seem easier, but it is costing you your freedom. As Jim Rohn says, "indecision is the thief of opportunity."
P.S. Choosing not to reach out for help is also a decision - a decision that robs you of your future. Don't make that mistake again.
Tam’s Thoughts: Dieting
It is often said that diets don’t work. The truth is that some diets do work. It is not the diet methodology that is always the problem. The real problem is human nature.
Human nature will only put up with self-denial for so long. When its limit has been reached, it rears its ugly head, demands what it craves, and expects there to be no consequences. Human nature constantly screams about the sacrifices it has made – no matter how small or how inconsistent – and ignores its shortcomings. It always wants to receive the full reward while doing only a part of the work.
Diets are not always the issue. Often the real issue is the MINDSET that we bring to the table when we start a new diet regimen. If we view dieting (which is really a decision to eat healthy foods more often and eat them in the right portions), as torture and something we can do haphazardly, we will continue to see the on-again-off-again cycle repeat itself. Again, it is not the diet that is at fault. It is the mindset of the person attempting to diet that is to blame.
If you really want to lose weight and keep it off, don’t waste time searching for the diet that will give you the fastest result. Don’t think that you can get by with only making changes for a few weeks, go back to your old habits, and still stay the same size. It will not work.
Instead, invest your time and energy in developing the mindset that creates consistent results. Buy into the idea of a lifestyle change hook, line, and sinker. Why? Because if we really think about it, the lifestyle we are living right now is responsible for the life we currently have. It only stands to reason that if we want a different result this time, we must change the way we do life!
Until you change the way you think – about food, exercise, yourself, and your priorities - nothing really changes.
Dieting DOES work when you have the right mindset.
Until next time,
How many times have you heard the importance of “positive thinking”?
Probably several times since “positive thinking” is very popular these days and has been for a while now. Bestsellers like “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen, and “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer have hipped us to the importance of thinking the right things.
But what does that look like?
Well, instead of thinking ‘I stink at push ups’, we’re taught to think, ‘I’m getting stronger and stronger every day!”. Instead of thinking ‘I screwed up on my diet yesterday”, we should think ‘I had a rough day but I’m okay and I’m on my way!’ And it makes sense.
What we believe determines what we think and how we think often determines how we feel about life and what actions we take. If we believe that we can lose weight and get in shape, start a successful business, move up the corporate ladder, have an amazing marriage, or build a thriving ministry, it’s so much more likely to happen than if we believe that we can’t.
I believe strongly in positive thinking. In fact, I challenge my clients to join me in saying 265 Point’s Morning Mantra each morning and encourage them to meditate on a power thought rooted in scripture throughout the week.
Here’s the thing….
The problem with positive thinking is that even if we think positive thoughts, we will continue to stay stuck until the underlying negative thoughts perpetuated by our inner critic are addressed. Until those negative thoughts are addressed, we are prone to self-sabotage and undermine our success.
You see, it’s true that you’re more likely to succeed if you think positive thoughts, but if deep down a part of you still believes that you can’t pursue the dream that God has called you to pursue, and you just keep trying to flood your mind with the positive without ever addressing the negative, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
Here’s what I suggest you do instead…
Stop stuffing the negative thoughts. Acknowledge them, heck even embrace them. Resist the temptation to medicate those feeling with food, drugs, work, alcohol or ready-made distractions. God gave us feelings for a reason. Though unpleasant to experience, negative feelings and emotions are designed to point to the areas of our lives that need healing and require change. So instead of trying to avoid or medicate negative feelings, ask yourself, ‘what’s really going on here’, ‘where did this thought come from?” and what am I really afraid of?’
The truth is that every unhealthy habit we have is rooted in fear…EVERY ONE.
Are you letting fear stand in your way?
Here’s what fear sounds like when it comes to change:
Addressing our fears is a simple process, but it’s not an easy one. Basically, I’m asking you to stop running and really face up to what’s happening inside of you. As mentioned earlier, running comes in many forms: TV, food, social media, alcohol, sex, work, etc. If you overindulge in any of these, you may be running from something.
It’s time to stop running.
It’s time to face whatever is in your head and in your body and stay present in the moment no matter how uncomfortable it gets.
That’s what a great breakthrough session does. It gets people to face up to what they’re most afraid of and to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. But, that’s where many coaches fail their clients. They aren’t willing to take their clients into the deep end of the pool. Instead they tread water in the shallow end of the pool and as a result, lasting change doesn’t happen.
You don’t have to worry about that with me. I don’t believe in skirting the deeper issues because it is those deeper issues that are keeping you stuck.
So yes, keep thinking positive. It does work. In addition, contact me for a breakthrough session to really get to the bottom of your problem so you can move forward.
Powerful: "It wasn’t until I admitted what the weight gave me that I could let it go." ~ an excerpt from Lisa Nichols on How to Release The Pounds Blocking Your Purpose
Whenever I ask a client what they are gaining by not releasing the weight, there is always an eerie silence. I can almost hear them thinking "Gaining? I'm not gaining anything!" Having spent 8 years of my life 100 pounds overweight (I still have a hard time claiming the term obese), I know that is denial talking. The truth is that the #1 reason many of us hold on to the weight is that we just can't bear to let go of what is attached to it. But if we truly want to be free, we have to face some more truths.
1: The outer weight is simply a tangible manifestation of an internal battle.
2: We don't need another miracle meal plan, diet pill, or cleanse, but a little - scratch that - a lot of courage. Courage to face our abandonment issues, courage to face our childhood hurts, courage to face our guilt, shame and feelings of inadequacy. Courage to look within and get real.
3: Until we face those things we have been running from, we will remain bound and no diet or exercise plan can save us because the REAL problem is yet to be solved. This is why we lose and regain, lose and regain. Our demons keep reappearing because we've tried to stuff them rather than address them.
4: Once we summon the courage to get real, life gives us the answers we've been seeking. They were there all along, they were just waiting on us to get ready.
So proud of Lisa for her transparency and giving this issue a public stage. I hope we get to team up one day.
If you're ready to finally get to the bottom of your problem, release the weight, and reclaim your life, I would be honored to be your coach. I've been where you are and I can show you the way out.
During my coaching session yesterday morning, my coach shared with me that a Picasso recently sold for $179 million dollars. I was blown away! I thought how could ONE painting be worth THAT much? But then coach said "think about it...how much did that painting cost Picasso?" I began to feel the weight of that question. I crammed to understand what Picasso may have sacrificed in time, energy, experiences, resources and sleepless nights. Coach's point: Your journey has value.
The more heartache you endure, the more tears you cry, the more ups and downs you have the more valuable you are. There are similarities, sure, but no one has a journey just like yours and as a result others can learn from your experiences. We tend to think of our trials as detractors from our lives but what if we saw them as a value ADD?
The bottom line: In personal and business relationships you must know your worth and hold firm to it. Otherwise as coach said "if you don't put a value you on your life, other people will and it will never be what you are really worth. Empowering session as always!! #KnowYourValue
PS: I invest in coaching because I believe in it's value. 1) How can I coach others without being held accountable for my growth? 2) My coach helps me become a a better coach for my clients. I owe it to them to keep growing and evolving. Something I learned long ago: If you don't invest in your development, who will? The answer is NO ONE. #OwnYourDevelopment, personal and professional!
Need help in your journey to health and wholeness? I'd be honored to be your coach!
1. I “cheat” on my “diet” about 2X a week.
2. I don’t eat anything I hate, even if it’s “healthy”.
3. I eat fried foods.
4. I don’t work out every day.
5. I still eat chocolate, cake, cookies, ice cream, etc.
6. On occasion I still eat too much.
7. I eat 2-3 slices of bread a day.
8. My weight fluctuates 3-5 lbs. I tend to be slimmer in summer.
9. I hate long workouts (anything over 45 min).
10. Some days I too dread the idea of working out.
11. My biggest daily battle is emotional eating.
And in spite of it all, I’m still here and still healthy. I hope that encourages somebody!
When I introduce myself as a fitness coach, people typically share the struggles they’ve had with losing weight and inquire about fees for personal training sessions. While I am confident in my ability to train one-on-one, I always share that personal training is not my passion. More often than not, the person’s response is “then…what DO you do?” It’s a fair question. Coaching is relatively new and if you don’t understand what it is you may think it isn’t for you. So let’s clarify shall we?!
In the end, personal trainers and fitness coaches have the same goal – to get their clients healthy and fit – but the approach is very different.
To sum it up succinctly:
A personal trainer is a fitness professional that specializes in exercise prescription and instruction.
Characteristics of a Fitness Trainer:
A coach with a fitness specialty focuses on needs exploration and problem solving.
Characteristics of a Fitness Coach:
To sum it up….
When You Would Benefit from Hiring a Personal Trainer:
If you are ready to start a fitness program and want a customized program that outlines how much you should exercise, how long you should workout, how often, how intensely, or what you should do (aerobic vs. weight training) OR you want to an expert to lead the workouts and push you throughout to give 100%.
When You Would Benefit from Hiring a Fitness Coach:
If you struggle with motivation and consistency and find developing a holistic action plan on your own overwhelming and demotivating. A coach can inspire change and help you navigate the difficult decisions to balance all the parts of your life in a way that moves you from existing to truly living.
So, how can I help you? Hiring a fitness coach could be a game changer for you!
Read Further at Your Own Risk!!!
1. You’ve accepted it as a part of your culture. I.e., being from The South or “the country.” You say things like “this is the only way I know how to cook”, we’re just “big boned”, and “we’re broke; we can’t afford to eat healthier.”
2. You have a food addiction. You accept it because you love the food...it’s your drug of choice. You’re not willing to give it up, even though you know it’s slowly killing you.
3. You won’t work out. You’re okay with modifying your eating habits but “just don’t have time” for exercise. Not even 10 minutes a day.
4. You’re noncommittal. You know what you need to do but you keep cycling back and forth, on again off again. It’s a perpetual cycle.
5. You won’t change your eating habits. Yeah, you work out like a beast, but exercise alone is not enough. And this is not new news.
6. You’re a habitual dieter. No carbs this month and then some drink concoction or pill the next. You know it’s too good to be true, that it won’t really last, but you’d rather case a fairy tale than buckle down, face your demons and do the work required to achieving lasting results.
7. You justify it as your "harmless" guilty pleasure. We like to separate weight issues from people who have problems with street drugs and other undesirables. But all of it is self-destructive behavior so is it really all that different?
8. You’re having an identity crisis. You’re known as “the cake lady”, as someone who can “burn in the kitchen” or “put her foot in it,” and that's ingrained in who you are. It's a part of your identity.
9. You’ve bought into the Big Beautiful Woman movement lock stock and barrel. Yes, beauty does come in all shapes and sizes but eating poorly and not making time for exercise is not cute and shortens your life span. Not only that, are you really happy with how you look? Or are you just pretending?
10. You’re a procrastinator. You’re always looking for the “perfect” time to start and as a result never get started. You’ve got to start on a Monday, at the beginning of the month, after vacation, after you get the kids back in school…the list just goes on and on.
Do you see yourself in any of the 10 reasons? If so, it’s time to step up and put your big girl/big boy pants on and deal with these issues. Remember you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
Need someone to keep you “on point” and challenge your excuses? Let's talk.
There are thousands of "experts" out there claiming to have the answers. Why choose me? I am glad you asked!
5 Things That Make Me Different!
FACT #1: I've been where you are. Having once been 100+ pounds overweight, I've experienced the same struggles that you have. I know what it's like to feel like there's no use and that you'll be the same weight forever. I know what it’s like to try your absolute best and feel like it’s not good enough. But I've also found ways to silence that voice of defeat. If you are ready to stop starting and stopping and finally get on with your best life, together, we can get you on the path to health and wholeness.
FACT #2: I’ve failed…and I’m not afraid to admit it. Many "experts" act like they have it all together but that is often far from the truth. I am transparent about my failures. The truth is that I've failed many times along the way (and still do) but I've learned from those mistakes and used them to fuel my progress. Are you ready to stop beating yourself up and move on? It's time to fail forward.
FACT #3: I know the way out. The only good thing that is about me once being 100+ pounds overweight is that it's a thing of the past. If you're ready to say goodbye to 10, 20, 30, or 50+ pounds, I'll show you how to lose weight as quickly, easily, and safely as possible and...
FACT #4: I know how to keep it off! How many people do you know that have lost weight only to regain it a short time later? Now how many people do you know that have lost 100+ pounds without surgery, supplements, or diet pills and have kept it off for 6 years and counting? Lots of people can tell you how to lose weight. Few can show you how maintain it. I am one who can.
FACT #5: I keep it real. While lots of “experts” will have you commit to giving up all of your favorite foods indefinitely and swear that you have to spend your life in the gym, I have developed a proven system that allows you to enjoy the foods you love and still lose weight. And, the best part is you only need to work out 30 minutes a day (because that's all it takes if you exercise smart).
There you have it, five reasons to chose 265 Point coaching.
265 Point Coaching: Real Change. Real Results.
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!