“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."
~Matthew 22:36-39 (NLT)
Happy Wednesday !
I am sure when you read this passage of scripture you get the “the love the Lord your God” part and the “love your neighbor" part but did you notice that this scripture challenges us to love ourselves?
I know that is not how this passage is typically taught. I am often challenged on this statement. The argument most often is that we do not need to worry about loving ourselves because humans are inherently selfish. But here's the thing: selfishness is NOT self-love so when I say that this scripture is teaching us an important principle about self-love, I am not talking about being selfish.
Here is what I believe: Jesus wants us to love others in the same way that He does - an agape kind of love. From what I have studied, agape love is not about putting everyone else's needs ahead of yours to the point of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Nor is agape love is not about stroking egos, making people feel good or giving them everything they want (and feeling guilty when you don't or can't).
Agape love is the love that Christ demonstrated towards us, a love that prioritizes what is good for the person and their development, not what feels good. He does not always give us what we want and as my mom is famous for saying "He prioritizes our character over our comfort." If that is true, (I see countless examples in my life and I am sure you do too), then loving others properly - in a way that furthers God's plan for their life - requires that I learn to love myself in the same way. You see, we can only give what we have. If I have an unhealthy view of self-love (i.e. selfishness or completely selfless), the love I give to others will be unhealthy too.
Just like Algebra must precede Calculus, you must learn to love yourself before you can properly love others. That means learning to do what is in your ultimate best interest even when it does not feel good or is inconvenient. When you can do that, you will love others in that way and:
You see, having goals, speaking up for yourself, and knowing what you need to do to be successful is not selfish and always pushing your goals to the side for others is not healthy. In Christian circles, it is easy to deem selflessness as the ultimate form of kindness, but that is not what Jesus modeled for us.
So I challenge the assertion that in order to be a "good Christian" we have to run around like a chicken with our heads cut off meeting other people's needs and always sacrificing our own. Now, hopefully, you do too.
Again, I'm not here to throw shade. I am on a journey with God too. You pray for me and I'll pray for you.
Until next time,
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Short on time but want to get an effective workout in? Try this...
After a 3-5 minute warm-up, complete 3 Rounds of the following:
Now, finish it with 10 minute walk/jog.
You're done! Nice Work!
While many would have you believe that losing the weight and leaving it is about finding the perfect diet and exercise solution, I know better...
The extra pounds we carry have less to do with our taste buds and laziness and more to do with what is eating away at our Soul...
Feeling stuck in a job that we hate...
Living in a house that doesn’t feel like a home...
Having an exciting vision for the future but no motivation to pursue it...
Trying desperately to hold everything together on the outside while it feels like everything is falling apart on the inside...
No, it’s not that at the core of our being we don’t want to eat better or move more, it’s that our soul has been arrested and we don't feel empowered to break free...no matter how spiritual we seem to be.
Here’s the good news: It doesn’t have to be this way. There is an answer and it’s not what you think.
The answer is to invest your time.
The investment I am talking about doesn't just pertain to improving the physical body but also on identifying the real root of the problem and strengthening yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
When you invest in bringing your spirit, soul, and body into alignment, everything else falls into place.
Until next time,
When Exercise Isn’t Enough
After 30 days of turning my life upside down to get in workouts 6 days a week, I just KNEW that I had lost at least 5 – 8 pounds. I wasn’t looking for a quick fix. I just wanted some encouragement. I took a deep breath and jumped on the scale. I was horrified by what I saw. Not one single pound. I was heartbroken.
At this point the “see, I told you this wouldn’t work” voice kicked in. I was reminded of all the other times I had tried and failed. According to the voice, this was just another notch on the belt. I was a hopeless cause. Being overweight was just meant to be.
Unfortunately, this voice and I had a long history. When I applied for jobs and didn’t get them, tried new things and struggled to “get it”, went to functions and didn’t immediately fit in, my self-critic instantly went to work. And sadly, more often than I would like to admit, I gave in.
But this time something welled up within me. I wanted this to work! I had come too far and given up too much! I will not quit! I would not be held hostage by my failures. I could do this! I just needed to face the music. My diet was NOT working.
If you are working out and not seeing results, your diet is the culprit. Learn how diet and exercise work together here:
Until next time,
I have come to realize something about people. At some point or another, we all struggle with the idea of doing hard things.
Many people are not willing to do the hard work that makes...
Pick your passion - A fulfilling marriage, a booming business, a skyrocketing career, an impactful ministry, a powerful prayer life, a big bank account, or a banging body - It doesn't matter what word you insert, the reality is still the same: IT WILL BE HARD BEFORE IT GETS EASY.
BUT there is good news...
Isaiah 41:10 AMPBC: Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.
If you are struggling with your health and wellness journey, press through the pressure. Keep going even though it is hard.
You can do hard!
Until next time,
P.S. Are you ready to invest the time, money, and effort necessary to lose up to 30 pounds within the next 3 months? If your answer is yes, I would love to chat about your needs and goals. Go here to apply for a free consultation.
If your clothes are getting a little snug, I have good news. It can be fixed. The key is to figure out why.
Chances are something has changed in your execution. Your best next step is to pinpoint where you may have been allowing yourself too many concessions or making too many compromises.
Narrow in on what could have happened by asking yourself these questions:
1. Have I been eating healthy foods 80-85% of the time?
2. Have I been exercising portion control consistently?
3. How much of my day is spent sitting rather than moving?
4. Has there been a change in how many workouts I am doing each week?
5. Do I still "go hard" in my workouts and push myself like I used to?
Falling short of our goals is typically the result of a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. If you have veered off course, it's time to examine your most recent decisions and correct course. When you make different decisions, you create a different life.
Keep pushing, I believe in you.
P.S. I am looking for 8-10 people who want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months and keep it off. We start at the end of March. If you are interested in learning more, send me an email and I will add you to the interest list.
I pray your week is off to a good start! All is well on my end. The team and I had an absolute a blast last Thursday and Friday hosting open houses for the January transformation group. By the looks on the faces here and here, we were not the only ones that had a good time! It is always fun to welcome new people to the 265 Point family.
But I digress, back to this week's temple tip...
Do you ever struggle to find the time to get exercise or meal prep and planning Tam?
If your answer is yes, this week's tip is for you. In it I introduce two tidbits to help you out.
Click here to listen to this week's tip. It will just take 2 minutes.
I will be back with more motivation and education later in the week.
How many times have you heard the importance of “positive thinking”?
Probably several times since “positive thinking” is very popular these days and has been for a while now. Bestsellers like “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen, and “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer have hipped us to the importance of thinking the right things.
But what does that look like?
Well, instead of thinking ‘I stink at push ups’, we’re taught to think, ‘I’m getting stronger and stronger every day!”. Instead of thinking ‘I screwed up on my diet yesterday”, we should think ‘I had a rough day but I’m okay and I’m on my way!’ And it makes sense.
What we believe determines what we think and how we think often determines how we feel about life and what actions we take. If we believe that we can lose weight and get in shape, start a successful business, move up the corporate ladder, have an amazing marriage, or build a thriving ministry, it’s so much more likely to happen than if we believe that we can’t.
I believe strongly in positive thinking. In fact, I challenge my clients to join me in saying 265 Point’s Morning Mantra each morning and encourage them to meditate on a power thought rooted in scripture throughout the week.
Here’s the thing….
The problem with positive thinking is that even if we think positive thoughts, we will continue to stay stuck until the underlying negative thoughts perpetuated by our inner critic are addressed. Until those negative thoughts are addressed, we are prone to self-sabotage and undermine our success.
You see, it’s true that you’re more likely to succeed if you think positive thoughts, but if deep down a part of you still believes that you can’t pursue the dream that God has called you to pursue, and you just keep trying to flood your mind with the positive without ever addressing the negative, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
Here’s what I suggest you do instead…
Stop stuffing the negative thoughts. Acknowledge them, heck even embrace them. Resist the temptation to medicate those feeling with food, drugs, work, alcohol or ready-made distractions. God gave us feelings for a reason. Though unpleasant to experience, negative feelings and emotions are designed to point to the areas of our lives that need healing and require change. So instead of trying to avoid or medicate negative feelings, ask yourself, ‘what’s really going on here’, ‘where did this thought come from?” and what am I really afraid of?’
The truth is that every unhealthy habit we have is rooted in fear…EVERY ONE.
Are you letting fear stand in your way?
Here’s what fear sounds like when it comes to change:
Addressing our fears is a simple process, but it’s not an easy one. Basically, I’m asking you to stop running and really face up to what’s happening inside of you. As mentioned earlier, running comes in many forms: TV, food, social media, alcohol, sex, work, etc. If you overindulge in any of these, you may be running from something.
It’s time to stop running.
It’s time to face whatever is in your head and in your body and stay present in the moment no matter how uncomfortable it gets.
That’s what a great breakthrough session does. It gets people to face up to what they’re most afraid of and to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. But, that’s where many coaches fail their clients. They aren’t willing to take their clients into the deep end of the pool. Instead they tread water in the shallow end of the pool and as a result, lasting change doesn’t happen.
You don’t have to worry about that with me. I don’t believe in skirting the deeper issues because it is those deeper issues that are keeping you stuck.
So yes, keep thinking positive. It does work. In addition, contact me for a breakthrough session to really get to the bottom of your problem so you can move forward.
I get more questions about the abdominal (stomach) region than any other area of the body. Some have made what they consider major changes in their diet but still aren't getting the results they were hoping for. Others cram to understand why their midsection remains a trouble spot even when they are very consistent with their exercise routine and "go hard" in the gym. Both give me a perplexed look as if to say "how can this be?" And that's where the train usually goes off the tracks. They are blown away by what I say next...
"It takes more than working out hard and eating nutritious foods to get flat abs."
Here are a few cold hard truth's I've had to face. You will too.
Truth #1: It's not just what you eat but how much you eat.
Truth #2: Following your friend's diet plan may be setting you up to fail.
Truth #3: If sodas, sugar, salt, and processed foods (chips, cakes, cookies, etc.) make up too large of a portion of your diet - a puffy stomach is pretty much inevitable.
Here is formula for flat abs...drum roll please!
+ 30% Exercise
= 100% Better Results
Notice which of the two - diet or exercise - gets the greater weighting! But don't get it twisted - you still need to workout. 150 minutes a week is the goal.
Now if you feel pretty good about your workout routine but don't quite know where to start with your diet, have no fear, Coach Tam is here!
Here's your 5 Step Flat Belly Action Plan:
Need a little help?
Email me and let me know what days and times you can chat. Schedule a complimentary consultation by 8/31/15 and get a FREE 7 Day Healthy Jumpstart Meal Plan. Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian and Gluten Free plans available.
Let's do this!
Your partner in health and fitness,
Attention ladies!!! One of my good friends showed up to STRIVE sporting this Dri Sweat cap. Her testimony: "I know people who have spent $15 or more on a cap like this and it didn't work. This one works and it's only $4 at Sally's!" Ladies, I haven't always sported the fro! For YEARS I used my relaxed hair as an excuse for why I couldn't work out...and it almost cost my quality of life. Don't be like me and wait for crisis to hit, get your Dri Sweat cap and get to work!
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!