Do you know what's interesting? Sometimes people are so stuck on who you used to be that they can't see who you are today and where you are going! I have observed this in my own life as I transitioned from the person who was pursuing their dreams but haphazardly and inconsistently to someone who's pursuing a dream with passion and heart. Some people are so used to mediocrity that when someone tries to step out and do something different, they frown up and get to criticizing. But it’s not just in the area of dream chasing that I’ve seen this, but also as I work with my clients to improve their health and level of fitness.
It’s a shame, but not everyone is supportive and some people – including close family and friends -- will even go so far as to downright sabotage your success! They know you’re trying to eat healthier but they’ll tempt you with candies and cakes. You’re on a streak with your exercise routine and they’ll try to convince to you skip “just this once” and hang out with them instead. Or you go on vacation and they want you to take a vacation from your new healthy lifestyle. Let me be clear, this is crab syndrome at its finest. Though there is an attempt to disguise this a positive or being helpful, anyone who seeks to take you in the opposite direction of where you are trying to go has ulterior motives.
You see, the people that are around you have likely been around you for quite some time. They know the person that you were, the person that didn't work out regularly, the person that ate horribly or inconsistently, the person that knew nothing about nutrition. And now you are morphing it to a different person…one that does care, that is consistent or at least consistently imperfect using my 80/20 plan, one who is determined to make changes in their life for the better. You may have had to give up some TV to make time for exercise. You may have had to limit how often you go to certain places to stay on track with your nutrition. You may have to turn some things down that you love to indulge in, all because you have goals to reach. And sometimes people will put labels on you, labels you don’t deserve.
They will call you in extremist, say you think you’re “all that” or worse yet consistently remark about your “diet” when you’ve said flat out that this is a lifestyle change. They will say anything and everything to get you off track. They are attempting to define you, to limit you, to pigeonhole you based on what they know of you. But you know what, there could be other reasons for their behavior.
There two common scenarios that I’ve observed…
1. They may be trying to protect their relationship with you that centers on your former unhealthy habits.
2. You making these changes may make them uncomfortable because they know they have changes of their own to make but aren’t ready to. So you “doing you” may make them feel guilty about what they are not doing, but know they should.
So what do you do?
Do you anyway! You are no longer that person. You must remain resolute in that. You must remain your biggest fan. Don’t let other people define you or get you off track. They don't deserve that much power!
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!