"Ugh! I'm so stupid. I can't believe I just did that! What in the world was I thinking?"
Sound vaguely familiar? Maybe your most recent dialogue with yourself was a little different. Maybe you called yourself a "screw up" or called the mistake a "bonehead" decision. But chances are, at some point in the last week or maybe even the last 24-48 hours you have had this type of exchange with yourself. It is completely normal....and not at all healthy.
We all engage in negative self-talk. The question is not if, but how often and how long. For me, it happened when I recently got make up all over my dress. It was not a good look and as it was I was running a little behind schedule. In my mind the last thing I needed was one more problem to solve. My self-talk was simple and subtle: "You should have known better!" "Why did you do that?” I really gave myself a good lashing. But was it really that serious? Yes, I had to quickly find something else to wear and yes I was a little late but was it really the end of the world? No!
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we will accidentally go over our calorie allowance all in one fail swoop, lock our keys in the car and have wait an hour and a half for AAA, or snap at others without thinking because we’ve had a horrible day. As much as we wish it were not so, missteps like these will happen again and again for the rest of our lives.
We cannot avoid mistakes, but we CAN avoid the harsh, borderline abusive way in which we sometimes speak to ourselves.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I knew I would fail.”
“I can’t believe I messed it up again.”
“Why can’t I be more like (fill in the blank)?”
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
If someone said these things to you, imagine the impact it would have on you.
“You’re not good enough.”
“I knew you would fail.”
“I can’t believe you messed it up again.”
“Why can’t you be more like so and so?”
“You don’t deserve to be happy.”
Hearing those things from someone you care about would have a devastating impact on how you see yourself and the world, right? Then why in the world would you say such things to yourself?
Negative self-talk can easily turn into a damaging self-fulfilling prophecy where you live down–instead of up–to expectations. It’s a bad habit that stifles your growth…plus it keeps you from losing weight.
Have you noticed that when you do not feel good about yourself you do not have the drive or energy to pursue your hopes and dreams? Yeah me too.
So what to do?
Challenge the negative self-talk . Just because a thought enters your mind doesn't mean that you have to accept it!
coach tam's Blog
40-something who loves food, fitness, and fun!